Reflecting On My Dog

Perhaps this seems a bit melodramatic and/or sounds like the unfortunate posts that are often on your newsfeed, and it probably is, but I think if you read further you may catch a glimpse of understanding…

The dog of my youth died peacefully today at the age of 13. I remember my plea as a 13-year-old: “Dad, a boy needs a dog.” From the very beginning, Didier chose me. The runt of the litter ran right through the chaos of puppies and sat at my feet. I said: “This is Didier.”

Didier is a strange name for a 13-year-old boy in Charleston to name his dog—that’s another story. The name itself is derived from an ancient name, ‘Desiderius’ and means ‘most desired.’ As I reflect on the last 13 years, some of the most formative of my life, I’m trying to process all that Didier meant to me. Maybe there’s wisdom in not sharing this on Facebook, especially so immediately, and while I am not seeking anything out of this ‘post’ I can’t help but think maybe some of my reflections are worth sharing.

This isn’t polished or carefully crafted—this is raw. So raw, it’s possible I’ll delete it later, I don’t know.

Didier was my dog. I was his boy. I’m beginning to realize how gracious God was to me through the responsibility of raising him. In reality, he raised me (that’s not a shot at my parents). He was my constant companion through some of my darkest days as a teenager and young adult. He loved unconditionally regardless of what I said, did, or didn’t do with or for him. He had a mind of his own, but a will to obey; an inclination for mischief, but a desire to please. He had the biggest capacity to love.

For me, he was an example of the way in which Jesus constantly, consistently, unconditionally loves and pursues me, as he always has, from the very beginning. I’m not calling my dog Jesus (or going down the rabbit hole of theological discussion of animals). But God used him to love me and show himself to me when I literally felt like the most alone person on the planet. I mourn the loss of Didier, but I know he had the best life. He never came to live with me because I never had the heart to take him away from his favorite place in the world, the beach.

Didier was known by people from every continent, but one. And because of his personality, ability to be photographed (#Weimaraner), and—if I’m honest—weird name was remembered and asked about by people all around the world!

The door of my boyhood has now been firmly shut. I don’t long for that, but until today I could still return to my parents’ house, take Didier to the beach, and be that kid again. No more.

He kept me (mostly) out of trouble. This all feels ridiculous to me at times, because I’m talking about a dog! But, as most dog lovers will say, ‘he was different—he was more than a dog!’ Didier really was, I promise.

I’m comforted knowing he is no longer in pain, but also by the fact that while he no longer actively serves as an example of the way in which Christ loves and pursues me, Christ is still lovingly pursuing me…and you!

I could probably write more and more, and probably will privately, but I’ll end this now. While I called him ‘Didier’ for 13 years, I think it was me that was truly the ‘most desired’ by him.

Eulogy For My Grandfather

I gave this eulogy at my grandfather’s funeral in February 2018.

As I prepared to speak here today in honor of my grandfather, I considered what HE might say, were he in my position.  3 things came to mind, and I promise I’ll be brief as the officiant has instructed me to be and I’m not one to disobey this particular officiant.

 The first of these three things is that I think he would make everyone here laugh.  To put it in someone else’s words: “he was magic, quite literally.  Quarters fell from trees when you walked with him, dimes emerged from behind your ears, and dollar bills turned up buried in the sand.”  Anyone who knew him experienced the joyful laughter that seemed to follow him everywhere he went.  He always said, and I think it was his subtle bit of marriage advice, “I try to get a smile or a laugh out of Mimi everyday.”  Even right now, he’s doing just that.

 The second thing I think PopPop would do is to honor each person in attendance here today.  Thank you, all of you, for being here to honor my grandfather.  Those that knew him know what it is to feel honored by Captain Howard simply for entering a room.  While this day is about honoring PopPop, I think it’s also about honoring his 65 and a half-year marriage to my grandmother and in so doing, honoring her—MRS. Albert William Howard Jr.  Because I know this of the immense love he had for his wife, to honor her IS to honor him. 

 The third and final thing I believe PopPop would make mention of here today is the importance of the saving grace and power of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  PopPop knew that truth here on earth and today we celebrate that he is living in it now and for eternity. 

 To highlight these three things, I am going to share what some have written or said about PopPop in the last week and a half:

 

He was a precious and gentle soul.

He was a favorite of so many—already very, very missed.

A gentleman and a joy in every sense of the words—he obviously adored Mary Anne.

There was never a kinder, sweeter man.

The way he looked at Mary Anne when she was talking was just marvelous.

His sense of humor and quick wit always made me laugh.

He brought such joy to many people.

His kind and gentle friendliness engaged people in warm conversations wherever he went. 

His fun-loving nature, witty humor, and mischievous twinkle graced the halls of Bishop Gadsden with warm, hardy giggles.

A sweet and humble man.

Fiercely devoted to God, family, and country.

A true soldier of the cross with the weaponry of spreading joy, life, and laughter. 

 And now, I end by addressing you, Mimi, as well as all of you here today, with the words that Capt. Albert William Howard, Jr., Bert, Daddy, PopPop….. came to live by: “Keep your chin up...and PRESS ON!”

Obituary For My Grandfather

I wrote this obituary for my grandfather the day he died, January 26, 2018. It wasn’t published, but writing it was cathartic.

Captain Albert “Bert” William Howard, Jr. USN (retired), 87, of Charleston, South Carolina entered into eternal life on January 26, 2018 peacefully in his sleep. 

 A memorial service will be held at Bishop Gadsden.  Captain Howard’s sons-in-law the Rev. Robert S. Lawrence and the Rev. Robert W. Grose will officiate.  A private burial at Beaufort National Cemetery will take place at a later date. 

 Captain Howard was born on July 23, 1930 in Atlanta, Georgia to Albert and Ella Mae Howard.  He spent much of his childhood in Siler City and Black Mountain, North Carolina before moving to Gainesville, Florida where he met and fell in love with Mary Anne Canova.  He graduated from Gainesville High School in 1948 and matriculated at the University of Florida in Gainesville.  Shortly after being commissioned an Officer in the United States Navy, he was wed to Mary Anne on August 30, 1952.  They welcomed into the world their first daughter, Lynn, on March 25, 1954 in Honolulu, Hawaii and their second daughter, Lisa, on November 26,1957 in Hutchinson, Kansas. 

 Captain Howard had a distinguished career as a Naval Aviator, holding multiple commands throughout.  He served in Korea and Vietnam, was stationed all over the country and world, and was even known as “the mayor of the Pentagon.”  He lived a life of service and was a true model of servant leadership both in and out of the military. 

 Upon retirement from the Navy, he and his wife settled in Melrose, Florida for a number of years before moving to Indian River Colony Club in Melbourne, Florida where they resided until their move to Charleston in 2011. In his retirement, he worked fervently as a member of his church vestries, community organizations, and as a VA volunteer.  He was dedicated to helping others no matter the cost.  He loved playing tennis and was blessed to be able to do so into his 80s. 

 Most of all, he was known for being the most wonderful and thoughtful husband, father, and grandfather.  He led his family with grace, compassion, and integrity—always encouraging anyone he came across to “Press On!” 

 He is survived by his wife of 67 years, Mary Anne Howard, daughters Lynn Lawrence (Bob) and Lisa Grose (Rob), granddaughter Anne Gaskill (Scott), grandsons Stratton (Hunter), Newman (Trish), and Will Henry Lawrence (Ellie), and six great-grandsons Danny, Josh, Bennett, McRae, Hank, and Huck.